POEM: If I had the words . . .

Photo credit: SHTTEFAN on Unsplash.

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If climbing a mountain meant encountering light

I would kiss every wound caused by thorns at night

My shadow revealed in the elevated walls surrounding me

I reclined to the floor since it was the only thing that could hold me

Looking for a light, my scarred hands delved into the walls

This nonsensical act bruised them all

I swam through the coolness occupying the room

I danced with the emptiness devouring the room

We synchronised like we’ve done it before

The darkness kept playing its song

And my soul kept lingering on every tune

You kissed my lips with your chains

When you pulled you away, left me with nothing but pain

Every time you hold my hands, you lead me into darkness

Hoping you’d stay but you leave me tangled in my mess

There is a fire walking through my veins

It used to lit things up, now it’s turning them into ashes

If I run to the shore, don’t come chasing me

Let me walk into the deep waters and the waves wash over me

Allow my soul to sail with its sailor, there she will find freedom

If only I had the words . . .

In a poet's heart.

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When the time is 'right'

Photo credit: Icons8 Team on Unsplash.

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Time is a crucial factor in life.

Often, we're waiting for the right moment to do or say something.

We've read, heard and said the phrase 'when the time is right.'

I think that the right time is associated with wisdom. We wait for the right time because we don't want to act foolishly.

On December 31st, 2019, when the clock struck 12:00AM, it felt like another minute pass.

Normally, I’d get excited. But not this time.

All I craved was for the new years to be over and head home.

Depression had stolen all my joy, hope and peace. All the colors had faded and I viewed everything in black and white.

Australian Artists, Sia, writes in her song ‘Birds Set Free‘,

”There’s a scream inside that we all try to hide

We hold on so tight, we cannot deny

It eats us alive, oh it eats us alive . . . ”

These are some powerful words. They describe exactly how I felt going back home after new years.

Crying out to God for help. My life was so fragile and I didn’t seem to have strength left to keep it together.

I contemplated my life purpose and I was so close to ending it.

I have shared about 2019 in different blogs such as To belong, It’s time to move on and The importance of finishing a chapter at a time.

It was an exhausting year. But I had some good days, too.

With the support of professionals, friends and prayers, my life literally turned around the next day. I don’t know what happened in the 24 hours, but something did.

I woke up in the morning feeling light as a feather. Hope came knocking and peace decided to stay.

I later found out a friend had prayed for me on new years night. (You know who you are)

I don’t know what it feels like to be physically dead and brought back to life, but that’s exactly how I felt.

On January 1, 2020, I woke up and the first thing I did was open up my journal. I sat in our living room and wrote down everything that God spoke to me.

I ended up writing five pages!

Honestly, it had been a while since I’d listened to God’s voice. But at that moment, it felt like he was sitting right next to me and gently whispering in my ear.

I wrote every word with conviction and faith. Regardless of how fragile my faith was at that point.

It’s a broken glass in which the light shines through, right?

Since it’s a five-page conversation and is personal, I will share one of the things He encouraged me with.

God’s language is compassion.

Every year, God gives me a new promise or a theme.

This year was time.

Usually, it’s a phrase so I was a bit surprised He left it at one word this year.

He spoke to me from Ecclesiastes 3:11, written by King Solomon, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

And then . . . pandemic happened.

To be completely honest, I lost sight of God’s promise now and then. My rational self was like um this doesn’t make sense.

There is no doubt that 2020 has been a wild year. I mean where do I even begin? Exactly, I won’t.

When will this be over? Is a common phrase heard, read and said globally. Especially during the lockdown.

Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s actually fascinating. I say that because He gave me a one-word promise associated with time. And this year, time became a huge concern to many - including myself.

There were times where I told God, “Hey, I thought we were going on different (spiritual and physical) adventures this year. But I’ve been isolated at home for months. I thought new opportunities would come up? I thought of new friendships? I thought . . . I thought..”

So what happened? My adventures involve my room, kitchen, bathroom and confetti of uni stress.

It’s funny because I thought about the physical aspects of life, but all this time God had been working in my heart.

And I was only able to recognise it later. I noticed a shift in my perspective on certain things.

I don’t know about you, but what I’ve learned is that before God gives us the physical thing, he gives us the emotional and spiritual first. He does that to prepare us for what He’s prepared for us. Because He knows what’s up.

Despite the challenges 2020 brought, God always came through on time.

As I was reflecting on 2020 not a while ago, I was hit by a wave of his goodness and mercy. I thanked him for all he’d blessed me with in the past few months.

And for a moment, I felt as though He was grabbing my hand, walking me behind the scenes and showing me how he’d been working things out for my good.

Like connecting the dots kinda thing. He knows I'm an analytical person.

Throughout isolation and disconnection, I thought God’s promise had evaporated. I second-guessed myself and wondered if I’d heard God’s voice clearly or if I made it up.

One of my favorite worship songs is 'Highlands' by Hillsong Worship.

There is a verse that gets me every single time,

“And O how fast would You come running

If just to shadow me through the night

Trace my steps through all my failure

And walk me out the other side”

In a devotional I once read, the author wrote, “There is power in being obedient in God’s timely instructions to us.”

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Embrace your curls

Photo credit: Sherry

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Q: Can you tell us what prompted you to start your Instagram page, The Curls Guide?

A: I never liked my hair growing up. In fact, I can go as far as to say I hated it and consistently wanted to shave it off. I had a Britney Spears breakdown moment when I was 15 and cut it all off.

I used to straighten it every day until it was absolutely fried. And I would always wonder why God would punish me with curls that would break my hairbrush, never wanted to respect me and caused me so much grief.

I always wished I had straight hair because it was what I believed was the standard of beauty. I praise God that I was eventually backhanded with the realization that I am fearfully and wonderfully made - and that includes this crown of curls!

It took a lot of years to embrace the hair I’d been blessed with. But once I did, it was the most beautiful journey of learning how to love it and wear it with confidence.

Since then, I’d constantly get asked by girls, especially younger girls (who more often than not hate their hair) on how I handle and style my curls. It became my absolute mission to teach them how to love, manage and embrace their hair. But even more than that, I’ve made it my mission to show them that not only are they crowned by their curls, but that their royalty extends so much further because they are daughters of the King.

Q: What has been your biggest highlight?

A: Honestly, the biggest highlight is when I receive messages from girls telling me they’re going to begin taking care of their hair because they’ve been encouraged through my page . . . I cry every time haha!

There is no greater achievement for me than when I feel that I’m genuinely helping someone on their journey. But even more than that is when I feel I’m helping them on their spiritual journey. The moment they realize that they are so much more than their hair is when I truly feel accomplished.

Q: How do you navigate through self-comparison and negative thoughts and maintain your confidence?

A: This is a really great question.

Comparison is the thief of joy and social media can well and truly be the breeding ground for it.

Every now and then I do struggle by comparing myself to someone I believe is more successful, prettier, thinner, etc. than me on social media.

When I have those thoughts, I quickly remind myself of these three things:

1. Everyone is on their own unique path and journey. You can never get caught up looking left or right in the race of life, you must continue facing forward, in your own lane, at your own pace.

2. Someone else’s beauty never takes away from your own.

3. Never seek the approval of people, you will always be disappointed. Seek instead the approval of God. His is the only one that matters.

In regards to negativity, as my page has been growing, I’ve been getting more exposed to a variety of people and have been coming across quite prominent opinions of people. At times, quite negative criticism.

At first, it really did take me back. I felt discouraged. I felt like I wasn’t good enough and was really second-guessing myself. I then picked myself up and reminded myself of who I am and whose I am. I remind myself that my identity is rooted in Christ, not the opinions of others.

My confidence remains because of this truth. God will always remind me that I am good enough, worthy, valuable and filled with purpose!

As long as I feel that this page is fulfilling the purpose I feel God has put on my heart, then nothing and no one can shake that - Isaiah 54:17.

Q: What kind of collaborations you would like to do in the future?

A: I would absolutely love to do collaborations with other curly hair bloggers where we discuss not only our curly hair routines, but the important underlying issues around natural hair and why so many of us felt (and feel) the difficulty to embrace it.

This is something I’m currently working on with a really great friend I’ve made in the natural hair community. Her name is Mandy (@thecurlcomplex), who has genuinely played a big part in helping me embrace my hair.

My other dream would be to collaborate with some of my favourite brands that have played a major role in helping me manage and style my hair by making incredible products. The biggest one for me would be Bounce Curl. It was really the brand that started me out with my journey and had the game-changer in products.

Their CEO is also one of the most incredible boss ladies, Merian Mismmo. I’ve learnt so much through her and it is most definitely one of my goals to collaborate with her brand one day (and thank her).

Q: What are some final thoughts you would like to encourage the reader with?

A: I’d love to encourage them that they are valued, worthy, purpose-filled and beautiful.

I urge them to always work to develop their inward being rather than fixating on their outward appearance.

Looks will fade, but inward beauty will always radiate.

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that there is a reason you woke up today, that God has amazing plans for your life and that nothing and no one can stop that.

Don’t worry about what people say. Stay focused on what God says about you. Don’t root your identity in anything that can be taken away from you. Place it in God, the one who made you. The one who truly knows you on a level that no one else can or ever will know you.

He loves you, He adores you and He is proud of you.

If you’re a fellow curly girl, crown yourself with the beautiful head of hair that God has blessed you with. Wear it with confidence. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God didn’t make any mistakes or try to punish you when He gave you your curls (although I know it can feel like that sometimes, especially when your hairbrush breaks for 35th time).

Your hair is beautiful and so are you. Don’t ever for one second forget it.

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You can follow Sherry on her Instagram page: @thecurlsguide

Sherry has also shared a very personal story on this blog: https://www.chosen-blog.com/post/a-breakup-story