A breakup story . . .

Photo credit: Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Q: Tell us a bit about yourself 

A: Hi, I’m Sherry and I’m 22 years old. I would describe myself as a spastic in full essence. You will never not catch me tripping over myself, bursting into song with my tone deaf vocals or dancing on my own. The first thing anyone notices about me is my big curly hair; the second thing being my wild personality. My interests include fashion – in particular streetwear, music and books.

Q: I remember when I first heard you share a bit about your break up story in a group discussion, you spoke with much courage and grace. Can you tell us more about it and how you were able to move on?

A: In my past relationship, my boyfriend at the time was absolutely everything to me. He was my best friend, my go-to for anything and everything and I truly loved him.

Due to differences in our beliefs, I was struggling to see how we could have a relationship centred on God when it wasn’t something we both agreed or had the same views on. I had to accept that you can’t (and shouldn’t) make someone change.  And at the end of the day you have to respect their views, no matter if they differ to yours. Giving it to God in prayer, I felt Him tell me that I needed to leave this relationship.

Moving on was not easy in the slightest. The only thing that gave me the strength to move on was the peace from God that surpassed any understanding I could have. While I felt broken, God was restoring me and reassuring me that I made the right decision. That sometimes, he has to take away what you love most, not to hurt you, but to turn you back to him. I drew closer to God than ever, especially because I had drifted quite a bit while I was in the relationship. God reminded me that He is the only thing that can truly satisfy. No guy, money, clothes, can ever fill the God-shaped hole inside all of us.

Q: What was personally the most challenging thing for you?

A: The most challenging thing for me was the confronting realization that in the season of singleness, you have nothing to focus on but yourself. Getting to know myself was quite scary, you begin to identify so much about your own identity:  the good, the bad and the ugly.  Although difficult to face at times, it is probably the most valuable time I have spent. I realized that I can’t love and build with someone if I haven’t taken the time to know and love myself first.

Q: After your break up, what is one (or more) thing you decided to change in you or the way you looked at things?

A: The biggest thing I changed in my perspective was that, instead of going after what you want and then asking God if it’s right or wrong (long after you’re already attached and comfortable) – I decided to always put God first in my decision making. Can confidently say that it has saved me from many things that God identified clearly that they weren’t for me. I believe that God promises what is for you, will not miss you. Learning to trust in that more and more every day.

Q: Lastly, What is one thing you'd encourage or advice someone going through a break up right now?

A: I would tell them that as painful as this break up feels right now, the pain will pass. You can’t see or believe the way you won’t feel the hurt that you feel right now, but trust and believe that it will come to an end. I promise. Ask God for the peace that surpasses understanding and you will be shook at the way that He will come through for you.

God is so close to the brokenhearted. I would also say to feel all the emotion that comes to you, don’t hold back tears, let everything out and deal with it all as it comes! It’s healthy and part of the process. Keep your head held high and always remember:

God promises what’s ahead of you is always greater than what’s behind you.

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