Social media vs social life

Photo credit: Merakist on Unsplash

---

Q: Tell us a bit about yourself

A: Hey, my name is Dan, I'm 23 but 12 at heart. I'm currently working full time in I.T for a company called KMT Group.

My hobbies are football (and I mean the real football), the world game, a bit of photography and playing music. 

A fun fact about myself is I'm an adrenaline junkie, so I'm down to do anything crazy.

Q: In your own opinion, what are the pros and cons of social media? (and how can you manage your time)

A: Pros of social media are that I'm connected to my family and friends overseas. I grew up in Egypt so my childhood was there. 

Just being able to see their posts or being a tap away from a call or a message is a huge blessing. And [it's] something I love that I can just go through my phone and message each one of them.

Obviously, the same applies to friends here too. But I have the privilege of seeing them, so it's a bit easier.

Another pro is just some of the banter you can have with friends, whether it's through sharing memes in a group chat or tagging them. It helps create a closer bond in friendship groups.

Cons of social media are everything I just said as well because you can get consumed by all of it and live your life in a screen.

I take public transport to work and so many times I'll look up and every head is just staring at a phone. I'm guilty of this too.

But I think social media has made us socially awkward in human interaction.

This is why I love catching up with friends because it breaks that barrier.

If we are able to manage our time between social media and being social then you have a good mix. 

It is up to you to manage your time, I can't tell you what is a healthy amount of being on your phone. But you have to manage your life outside of a screen too.

Q: How do you choose what to post and what not to on your social media accounts?

A: If I'm posting things it's either on Facebook or Instagram, and each of them is different.

If I'm posting on Instagram it will mainly consist of something that's really meaningful to me.

For example, some worship lyrics that have impacted me at the current stage of my life, or a picture with a friend that has a special meaning behind it. A memorable event that has taken place and each photo would hold a memory.

I remember when I was speaking to you about this earlier, I mentioned the group photo with all the boys at a wedding. Now, this photo is very memorable and all the boys will know why but that's as much as I can say about that picture haha! so those are the kind of posts for Instagram.  

( Here is the photo Dan talks about)

As for Facebook, it's seen by a lot more people. So if I want to reach out or share something important then Facebook is the platform for me.

Most of those posts will be to challenge people with a perspective that has helped me grow and develop. Or just a bit of ranting about football haha. But yeah, managing my Facebook is a lot tougher. Especially being in a place of leadership at church, I have to beware of what I'm sharing and what I'm tagging my friends in. And it's not because I don't think it's wrong but so it's not influencing the youth, especially in a direction where I think it's okay.

Q: What do you think of receiving negative feedback on something you posted?

A: It depends on how it's approached.

But usually when receiving negative feedback, I approach it two ways:

First, I'll make sure what I said was not misinterpreted. If it was, I'll make sure what I'm saying is conveyed clearly to whoever it is.

If they still don't like it then so be it.

I shared a point of view that I see and thought I needed to share with people. If you don't like it, then block me. But it also shows that I struck something with that someone, which I see as a win.

Secondly, I might have just been too excited or motivated by my point of view at the time, so I would approach whatever topic I'm writing about too aggressively, and my wording could have been too harsh, which happened multiple times. But I'll point out the fact I'm sorry for how I worded things not how I said it.

Ultimately, you will never please everyone, so why should I post with that mindset. It just sets me back. I say things how they are. Also if someone asks my point of view on something, I'll just give you a straight answer.

Q: Lastly, what is some advice you would like to share on how we could use social media more meaningfully?

A: Simply know how to manage your time. 

It's not whether you post or scroll, but managing that time is the most crucial.

As for how to use social media that's not up to me, be yourself on whatever you're posting you'll never make everyone happy so why worry about what others think. Just be yourself.

---

Keeping the balance

Photo credit: Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash

First of all, what does the word balance mean?

According to the Oxford Dictionary, balance (noun) means “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.”

What do we get out of the definition? It is an even distribution. To start, no, my life is not perfectly balanced. And at times it is rarely even ‘balanced’.

Some days everything falls perfectly into its place and other days everything falls apart instead.

Do you ever experience a similar thing?

Great, cause you’re not alone. If you look around your circle, you will find people trying to balance different aspects of their life such as work-life, social life, university life, ministry life and the list could go on.

Or you know when things decide to happen all at the same time, and you run around trying to catch up with everything happening around you. But by the end of it all, you are burnt out.

Before you know it, you got no strength, patience, or desire left in you to deal with people or situations. In other words, you’ve had enough.

I am not a life coach, counsellor or hold a PhD in ‘keeping the balance’ in life. But I have figured out it is not impossible to maintain the balance.

I will share a few tips that have helped me. Now, these tips may or may not benefit you. We’re all different individuals with a different mentality and lifestyle.

1. Don’t panic

I find it ironic writing this myself. If I had a dollar for every time I panicked over things slightly losing balance, I would be touring Europe now. Okay maybe not that rich, but you get the point.

When we panic, it causes us to lose balance even more because we become ‘unsteady’. And what happens when you put an object on an unsteady surface? It struggles to stand/sit still.

So, try to calm yourself down. Do the things that you know will help you achieve that. This could be listening to music, going out for a walk, watching a funny video, praying for peace, or even reading Chosen’s blogs (we don’t disappoint).

2. Remember: it is not the end of the world

Crazy right? Guess who thinks the world is going to end when things fall out of their place? Correct, the person writing. This entire blog is ironic, let me tell you.

Anyway.

I don’t know about you, but my initial thought is often “OMG. What is going to happen now?!”

I start thinking of the worst-case scenarios, create dialogues that - in my head - could potentially occur and how I shall respond. Honestly, if I wasn’t doing a Journalism degree, I would be directing movies.

But on a serious note, losing control over something often makes us feel powerless. We feel as though we can never gain control back.

Unexpected things happen in life, and often we are not prepared for it, or ready to deal with it.  

But when things don’t work out it doesn’t mean the world has ended.

Life keeps moving forward, and so shall we.

3. Look at the positive side

But why should I look at the positive side? What is the point of it all? Is it going to solve everything?

It may not solve “everything”, but it can help you find a solution for your situation. When things fall apart, we start thinking of the “worst-case scenario” which, at least for me, makes the situation much worse.

But once you take a step back, clear your mind, breathe and look at the different angles of the situation, you may realize it wasn’t even as bad as you initially thought it was.

Perspective is so important!

In conclusion, as strong and brave we can be, remember we are also weak human beings. We won’t always have the strength to hold it together.

When you find yourself overwhelmed, take a deep breath, take a step back,  clear your mind, shift your focus off the negativity in your situation, and then try again.

Side note: But seriously, whoever I end up marrying (you might even be reading this), keep your balance, please. We don’t need two people panicking around the house. Thank you in advance :) x

---

I've stopped writing?

Wait, what?

Photo credit: Andrew Neel on Unsplash

If you read my blogs regularly, you may notice it has been a while since my last blog. I admit, not a fan of the gap I’ve created.

To be honest, I am not sure how this blog will end up.

I know what I want to write about, but since I haven't written a blog in ages, I hope I convey the idea of this blog accurately.

I remember when I first started writing blogs for Chosen, I would get excited every time I published a piece of writing.

I also feel like I used to practise descriptive writing more often than I do now. I would try my best to convey a certain feeling to my readers. In a way, there used to be a greater sense of passion in my writing.

But now, things have changed. The way I think and approach things has changed. I am in a different state of mind – which is an improvement I am proud of.

I have noticed I struggle to write blogs now. And I think there are few reasons for it. Firstly, if you didn’t already know, I’m studying journalism. Blog and journalism writing are completely different. In journalism, you have to be balanced, fair and accurate in everything you write. In blogs, you tend to be creative, inspiring and personal. Secondly, I used to be in a different (overwhelming) state of mind and my emotions were a huge part of it. I tend to be more expressive through writing when I feel ‘disconnected’ from the world or experience a roller coaster of emotions. Thirdly, I have become too critical of what I write, thanks journalism!

It is somehow all connected.

Are you sick of reading the word journalism yet?

My brain has currently been approaching critical thinking more than creative thinking. I even find it difficult to wander through my imagination.

I just feel like I used to find it much easier to be expressive through writing. Now I analyse every single thought and emotion before I write it down, which then leads me to eliminate most of what I thought or felt. Which I think, is the opposite of being ‘personal’.

Does this make any sense?

And as I mentioned before, I’m more in control of how I feel now and the way I react to things – in my head. And so, I tend to ‘get over it’ quicker and move on. Which then doesn’t leave an effect on me to dwell on it for a longer time – which in that stage – would lead me into writing about it.

I do realize I have to distinguish between the two different types of writing – blog and journalism (I just wanted to mention it again) – and need to upgrade my game.

No, I will not stop writing blogs. And this blog site will continue to grow.

It is quite daunting to keep a balance between these two worlds, but I’m trying my best.

I just wanted to get this off of my chest, and I’m glad I did.

---