Sensitivity.

At some point in your life, you might have heard “don’t be too sensitive” or have told someone to stop being “too sensitive”.

Photo credit: Aaron Burden on Unsplash

According to the Oxford Dictionary, the word ‘sensitive’ falls into five different categories:

1.    People: sensitivity (to something) the ability to understand other people’s feelings

2.    Art: the ability to understand art, music and literature and to express yourself through them

3.    Being easily upset: a tendency to be easily offended or upset by something

4.    Information/subject:  the fact of needing to be treated very carefully because it may offend or upset people

5.    Food/cold/light: the quality of reacting quickly or more than usual to something

In this post, the focus will be on the first definition which is people’s feelings. We all feel emotions but we express them differently.

In my personal view, there are two categories when it comes to people’s sensitivity. The first one is to be sensitive from and the second one is to be sensitive to.

To be sensitive from is usually when people are exposed to criticism or truthfulness on their behaviour, presentation, work and etc.

Some people find it difficult to grasp the criticism (or feedback) which then leads them into taking what the person had said in the form or ‘hatred’.

Basically, they feel personally attacked.

Every individual reacts differently to criticism. Some turn their defence mechanism on. Some nod in agreement but deep inside they want to cry. Some get angry and explode. And some take the criticism gracefully and use it to their advantage. The list could go on but those are just a few examples.

I think the reason why people feel personally attacked is due to the inability to separate who they are as a person and how they performed/behaved/worked.

The issue with is that it often leads people into sinking in their own guilt and shame. They belittle themselves, feel like they are not good or capable enough and may even get them to the verge of giving up.

Which goes back to being ‘too sensitive’ and not handling criticism positively. There are times where people also build walls or distance themselves to avoid any sort of confrontation or criticism. 

Moving on to the second category which is being sensitive to.

I consider myself a sensitive person. I am sensitive to my own feelings and thoughts as well as to people’s spoken and unspoken feelings and thoughts.

It all requires effort, strength and grace.

Honestly speaking, I do take overthinking too far sometimes. I am the type of person who likes to analyse everything in my head. Because I do not like confusion and it can leave my mind unsettled.

Being sensitive to means choosing to understand and show compassion to those around you.

It all comes from a heart that is willing to love, give and care deeply for other people.

It is about loving, giving, and caring for people even when they don’t necessarily love, give and care for in the same way.

There are moments in my life where I wish I had no feelings. Like there are days where I just want to remove them all and feel absolutely nothing! Because I like to think I will then be relieved and in peace.

There are times in my life were being sensitive to people's feelings often felt like a curse. I felt weak.  I felt emotionally messy. I felt broken. I felt like this is something I should get ‘rid of’. It just felt wrong. It was an ongoing battle within myself … and it does hurt sometimes. 

But let me tell you this:

I know sometimes your heart feels heavy … I know there are days where you got no strength left in you … I know there are days you cry your eyes out … I know there are days where you feel like nobody cares … I know there are days where you feel fragile … I know there are days where you feel messy because you experience a roller coaster of emotions … I know there are days where you give your all to someone in the midst of your own battle … I know there are days where you just want to cut every string of emotion that you feel … I know there are days where you don’t feel appreciated … I know there are days where you feel alone …. I know there are days where you ask yourself ‘why am I like this?’ … I know there are days you wonder why it hurts so much … I know there are days where you are tired.

You are not weak for experiencing those things. You are human. You are not weak, you are blessed to own a tender yet a strong heart like that. It takes strength to embrace the weight of someone else while carrying your own.

Love is powerful. Compassion is powerful. Being graceful is powerful. Forgiving is powerful.  Because all these things have the ability to bless, heal and change someone’s life.

Don’t quit making people feel loved and special. Bring the best out of them, applaud them, encourage them, hug them, ask about them, compliment them, and tell them they are going to be okay.

Because I have learned something important: I used to think people don’t deserve all the love I gave them because it often felt unappreciated or taken for granted. It felt like I was giving too much of myself for nothing.

And there was a period in my life where I thought to myself enough is enough. I slowly began turning into someone I am not. It didn’t feel right but I thought it was the ‘right’ choice.

I remember thinking, ‘stuff them all, they are not worth it.’

During that time, my best friend told me something that shook my ground. She said, ‘You are changing your entire character because of people. You are changing all these God-given traits in you that make you who you are, just because of a few people.”

In my own perspective, I didn’t see it as “changing my entire character”. To me, it was just not caring anymore. But I didn’t realize I was trying to get rid of the gifts God had blessed me with.

Who knows, you could be the only person who cares about the person you care about. Imagine if you never did … who would?

Last but not least, you deserve to be loved, cared for and appreciated the same way you make others feel. Take care of yourself. Surround yourself with people who cheer you on but also those who notify you when you get off track.

You can be soft and strong and you can also be strong but not soft.

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