No, you're not my happiness

How many times have we put our happiness in the hands of things, people, places, and you name it?

Photo credit: Jade Wulfraat from Unsplash

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I know I've done that . . . a lot.

We crave and search for happiness in this world like someone would crave and search for water in the middle of a desert.

If you and I were to knock on people’s door and ask, “Do you want to be happy?” I doubt their answer would be, “No, thanks mate!"

Aren't we constantly trying to be happy anyway?

We try to be friends with someone specific because then we'll be happy. We try our best to get that one job because then we'll be happy. We try to go somewhere specific because then we'll be happy. We try to accomplish something specific because then we'll be happy.

Don't get me wrong these are great things to do. To make friends, to get a job, to visit places and to accomplish your goals.

And then what?

I remember a few years ago when my best friends and I were around 13 years old we had a close guy friend from church whom we’d hang out with sometimes.

Any time he wanted to annoy or tease us, his response to anything we said was “and then what?”

Later it became a thing between my friends and I. We'd joke around and tease each other using his golden phrase, "and then what", in our conversations.

For years, I placed my happiness on people and things. They were the source of my happiness.

I mean, who hasn't?

Now pause for a moment and dive into your imagination . . .

Let’s imagine happiness as a box of cookies or lollies. If you’re not a sweet tooth feel free to imagine them as any other quantity.

Let’s say every time you visit a friend or a relative, you are given a cookie.

When we see a full box of cookies, we tend to 'forget' it will eventually become empty.

No matter how amazing the cookie is, the quantity is limited (unless people stock up in their pantry but that just proves my initial point).

Back to the scenario . . .

Now every time you visit, you’re given a cookie, pretty cool aye?

Then one day, you decide to swing by a friend. You arrive, knock on the door (or text them you've arrived), they open the door and welcome you in.

As you sit on the couch in the cozy living room, the clock in your head starts ticking.

*tick* *tick* *tick*

Oh, wait, ticking for what?

For the cookie!

Where is the cookie? you think to yourself.

Your thoughts begin to whisper to you, “Oh, maybe they just forgot to give you this time?”, “Throw a hint at them”, or “Maybe they’ll give it to you just before you leave.”

But maybe, they’ve run out of cookies to give. And wouldn’t that be the most logical answer? Well, maybe not the “most” but it’s logical enough.

The point I am trying to convey with this whole scenario is we'll sometimes run out of things to give to people and vice versa.

It took me a few let downs to understand this. To understand that I shouldn’t expect to be given a cookie every single time in order to be satisfied or happy.

One can still remain satisfied whether given a cookie or not. The cookie shouldn't be the source of my happiness.

I’ve learnt that basing my happiness on people and things cause just as much disappointment as it does happiness.

The question is, can we still be happy if we don’t get a cookie?

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