I feel nostalgic . . .

When nostalgia hits you right in the feels at night. You know what I'm talking about? Those moments that just ...

Photo credit: Yuvraj Singh on Unsplash

I went through my old photos and I suddenly felt nostalgic. I got flashbacks of certain moments, people and places . . . And  . . . I don’t know.

I experience nostalgia every now and then. It is a common thing that happens with me. Especially if I go to a certain place, or smell a certain scent or hear/listen to a certain song. It really gets me.

I’d define nostalgia as a bitter-sweet experience. Because it both, draws a smile on my face and tears me apart. 

Sweet moments lived, bitter to remember. Bitter, not because they were bad, but because I can’t relive them.  I wish there was a possibility but there unfortunately isn’t. But maybe a moment is special because it’s one moment. It happens once and that’s it.

It’s easy for me to get carried away with nostalgia. It holds  my hand and I give it the full permission to take me away into a whole nother world. Preventing myself from living in the “present”. You know the smell, the colors, the sound, the lights, the feel of texture, the words and the place. It’s like an escape from reality for a split second until I snap back to reality.

I miss many things and many people . . . I miss *sigh* I miss, miss, miss. 

And in a moment you feel alone. I have a full circle of people that love and care about me. But it’s not about that. It’s just in those times where your thoughts overwhelm you and suddenly make you feel all alone (when in reality, you are not alone).

As I write this, I can’t seem to chase my thoughts down and keep them still. They run around leaving me bewildered.  You know when there’s so much in your head and heart but your emotions and thoughts struggle to express themselves. It’s as if they’re chained and can’t seem to find a way to break free. It’s just all within you.

To be honest with you, this post isn’t about showing my writing skills or sharing wisdom. So don’t expect “great” sayings, quotes, etc. from this. 

I think sometimes people seek to relate and feel understood. You know when you read something and your initial thought is “wow, I feel like this is written for me” because of how much you can relate to it.  

And so, I want this one to be a blog post where  people can relate to. I am sure you have your own nostalgic moment sometimes . . . and I am sure you have your I-feel-alone moments too.  

When you’re sitting in your room, going through old photos, watching a video, reading your diary or a letter from someone or listening to a specific song that brings back many memories.

And whether you like to admit it or not, it both brings you happiness and breaks you a little inside. You feel something in your heart and you suddenly can’t decide what it is exactly. You remain like that for a while until you snap back to reality.

I’ll keep this post short because it’s not about delivering a message. It’s just me writing my messy thoughts down hoping it will makes sense to you. But maybe sometimes things don’t have to make sense for a bit and we can just move on with our lives.

I hope  this blog reminds you that everyone else around goes through the same things you do.

You’re not alone.

It’s ok to feel and it’s ok to express.

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