We made a mistake . . .

WRONG PAGE, GO BACK! Just kidding, stay ... & read the story

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When you walk into any shop, you will see there is a price written for every item. In order to get what you want, you’ve got to pay for it – unless you decide to steal it, which in that case you’ll end up paying a higher price than the original price itself. But this isn’t my point here . . . what I’m trying to say is: there is a price you pay for the things that you want.

Few days ago, my dad and I went to a nearby shopping centre to buy some essentials. On our way back, my dad asked me to look up the gas station he usually goes to on Maps. I typed in the address, the directions came up and my dad drove following the directions.

As we arrived to the gas station, it turned out it wasn’t the one he usually goes to. But who cares – he still filled up the car.

When we finished at the gas station, we went on our way home. We had been in this area before, so we knew where we were.  We were driving on the right path until my dad mistakenly did a roundabout and went to the opposite direction. We didn’t realize it was a mistake until we got lost . . .  Until we realized, oh this area doesn’t look very familiar.

Lost in our mistake

When we make a mistake, we get lost in it (at least that was our case). We didn’t realize that one wrong turn could get us lost for 1-2 hours. We also thought, but we just continued getting lost and neither of us were enjoying it.

Not only where we lost in our mistake, but we became very stressed and frustrated. It was like we were running in circles, which in our case was driving.

As we were trying to find our way out, we made even more mistakes. We passed through two red light signals, drove down the wrong streets and it got more complex. Why? Because of one mistake . . . just one.

It took some time

We wasted 1-2 hours trying to find our way out. It is crazy isn’t it? It took us 1 and a half seconds to make the mistake but 2 hours to find the way out. I think we can, somehow, relate to this in our daily life. It is scary if you think about its consequences.

What I am trying to say is, the problem isn’t just getting lost, but the time it takes to find the way again. The way out isn’t the same way you got lost. In our case, the time it took us to find the right way was longer than making the mistake.

Trying to find the right way came with emotions. Emotions such as frustration, stress, disappointment and etc. – the list could go on. Then, you get to a point where you don’t know what is right anymore AKA the “I-am-so-done point”. You get tired – physically and mentally – too. The other thing that begins to happen is that you just don’t care anymore about your surroundings, as long as you are out of it.

Regardless of its consequences, there is always a way out. You are never stuck somewhere. Despite how long it takes, you are never late. Regardless of all the negative feelings you experience when you’re lost, they all fade away once you find your way again. Frustration gets replaced with joy and you begin laughing at how dumb you are – I mean, let’s be honest.

So next time you make a mistake, remember we all do and we will never stop making them. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it just means it wasn’t the right decision to make. It’s not the end of the world, so get up and fix it.

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Accept & embrace

Beautiful things begin to happen when we choose to love people rather than judge them. It’s easier to point fingers at each other than try and understand why people act the way they do...

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You’ve probably heard the famous Newton’s third law of motion that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. It’s true. People don’t just suddenly decide to change or shut everyone out because “they felt like it”.

Most of the time it’s because they are hurt and in pain. Such people aren’t looking for someone to judge them and tell them what they should or should not be doing. Often times they are seeking someone who is willing to embrace them and the mess they are in.

From my 19 years of existence, I have learned something: love changes people. This may sound cliché to you and you’ve probably heard this a billion times, but guess what? It is the TRUTH.You cannot change people by your will-power, however, you can love them and that’s where change happens.

Love changes people

I used to think that if I want to change somebody, I have to use all my strength and power to do so. But that never worked. Why? because that’s not how it’s supposed to be done.

As human beings, we are always looking for empathy and compassion from our surroundings. We don’t want to be left out, rejected or neglected by others – instead we seek to be loved, accepted and supported no matter where we come from or what is in our past that we hold onto and is weighing us down.

Now to be honest with you, some people are just hard to love. But the key to loving others isn’t about how good, educated or wise of a person you are. It’s about knowing how much you – yourself –  are loved and where your true identity and worth come from.

To make this clear, loving others doesn’t necessarily mean cheering them on when making bad choices just because you want to be a “supportive" of them. It’s more about opening their eyes and showing them the right path that they may choose to take.

How does that affect them?

One of my very beloved aunts has been battling depression and anxiety for a while. She felt lonely, hurt and isolated herself from the world. She was not happy with her life and she’s always had suicidal thoughts .

My family and I decided to love, embrace and pray for her. It broke our hearts to see her mentally and emotionally suffering. We chose to show compassion and kindness. We chose to show her that no matter how she may be feeling, she is loved and worthy for exactly who she is. We chose to fill her emptiness with love and empathy.

Loneliness makes us hollow. And that hollowness can be so heavy sometimes that it becomes a burden on our shoulders.

Change takes time. People don't magically heal overnight. But they eventually do.  It takes love, patience and sacrifice . . . at the end it's all worth it. Now my auntie is on the journey to recovery and healing. She has taken big steps towards a change and we are very proud of her. 

You see, there is always room for love. No one ever complains about being loved or "too loved". 

I want to conclude this by saying that love is one of the symptoms of forgiveness.

Forgiveness has been freely given to us. So where there is forgiveness, there is love. Where there is love, there is healing. Where there is healing, there is joy. Where there is joy, there is change. Where there is change, there is influence. Where there is influence, there is a blessing.

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How to stay motivated

ARE YOU ON THE VERGE OF GIVING UP? before you do, read this!

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1. See the bigger picture

Fix your eyes on the vision. Don't be discouraged by your reality. I know that reality can be really ugly and disappointing sometimes . . . or most of the time. However, don't allow disappointments to steal hope that's within you and your desire to achieve your dream(s). There will always be challenges along the way. It's your choice to allow those challenges to strengthen your character and refine your skills or to completely destroy you. Choose wisely. 

2. Failure means 'try again'

I've failed so many times when trying to succeed at something. I have sent emails and never got a response back. People who told me they will help me achieve my goals, suddenly disappeared.   I felt like a failure. I thought "maybe I should just give up". But giving up is not an option.

Failing does NOT make you a failure.

You are brave for trying and you should continue trying. Failure doesn't mean you are bad at making something happen, it just means this isn't the way to do it. Try again. 

3. Motivate others

I know this sounds strange to you because you're probably thinking, "how can I motivate someone else when I don't feel motivated myself?" Speaking from experience, doing this has impacted me in a positive way. I realized that when I encourage and support others - it reflects back at me. So, maybe next time you feel down, grab your phone and text your friend, family member or  just anyone you know that you think would love to hear word of encouragement. Trust me you'll immediately feel happy, energetic and motivated. 

4. Surround yourself with positive people

I can't tell you enough how important this is. Make sure that the people you hang out with and people  you surround yourself with actually inspire and support you. Ain't nobody got time for giving people the space to bring us down. Once you realize you are surrounded by toxic people, LEAVE.

Do not allow people to poison your thoughts and suck out all the positivity and creativity that's in you. To make this clear, I am not saying run away once someone criticizes you on something you worked on. I know the word critiques sounds scary (it can be hehe) but they also help us to improve and refine our skills and produce something better. However,  be careful where those critiques are coming from. Wise or toxic? 

5. Darling, you WILL get there!

From a devotional I once read, there was a sentence that truly encouraged me. It said something like,

 "History makers don't live on the mountain top, they testify there."

Aaaaaand I'll just leave you with that.

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