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Here, I briefly share my personal story. I hope you get encouraged as you read it. 

"To be continued ..." because I am still learning, growing and things that I yet get to experience. 


Photo credit: Reuben Juarez on Unsplash

When I was around 13 years old , I had set a vision for my life. I imagined and planned everything in my head. I’d tell myself ‘Lydia, when you turn 18, you will move to America, study college there (fashion & design), get a job, marry an American guy (LOL), build a family and settle my life there.


Not only that, my two best friends – Delphia and Grace – and I, would plan our future together as well. For example, we planned that we’d all move to America and live in the same house together and live our best lives. Funny thing is that each one of us is living in a different continent now.


As a teenager, you plan and set all these goals for your life hoping one day it will all come true.


I always thought turning 18 was a big deal. I had this mindset where I was convinced that by 18, everything will be alright, everything will work out and I’ll achieve all of my dreams. Can we all take a moment of silence for naïve-teenage me?


Turning the page, when I turned 18, I was living in Amman, Jordan with my family. I didn’t attend school and I hadn’t achieved my dreams. And that was slightly disappointing. I was disappointed in myself and I felt like a failure.


‘Why me?’ I broke the Guinness world record for asking this question too many times. (No I didn’t, I was just being extra). 


My teenage era was the darkest. I’d never want to go back whatsoever. I struggled with many different things in my life. I hated myself and I hated my life. I felt unloved, unvalued and unworthy. I believed that the world would be better off without me and that I was the reason to every problem happening in the world. I was broken and bruised.


I remember going to bed every night with tears in my eyes hoping I won’t wake up the next day because I didn’t want to live anymore. I was in so much pain that I’d fall on my knees and cry my eyes out until it numbed me.


I was not happy but I wanted to be happy. I wanted to experience that feeling of joy and genuinely ‘loving’ life.


From feeling worthless to purposeless to being hopeless and helpless, I somehow managed to keep going.


More than anything, I had a hard time accepting God’s love for me. 'How can God love someone messed up and broken like me?', 'I am not good enough to be loved by you God. Have you seen my life and all the things I have done? I am not worthy of your love'.

I distanced myself from God because I felt ashamed. I was so ashamed of who I was. And when people would tell me ‘God has got great plans for your life’, ‘There is a bright future ahead of you’, ‘He is going to use in ways you’ve never imagined!”, ‘You will change many lives’, etc and I didn't get that.


Me? God use me? How would God want someone unclean like me? How can I tell someone they are loved when I don’t feel loved myself? Bright future? I guess we’ll never see that because I probably will be dead by then.


These thoughts consumed me one after another.


Moving on, I thought life would be better in Jordan. You know, new country, new people, new opportunities . . . But little did I know about the dark tunnel that I was about to walk through.

The moment I thought depression had left me, it came crawling back to me and consumed me. I remember the days where I’d lie on my bed, depressed, staring at the ceiling with tears falling from my eyes and thoughts running wild in my head.


Every day, I was drowning deeper in depression to the point where it numbed me. You know when you get to a point where drowning isn’t terrifying anymore because you are so used to it now? Imagine drowning in the deepest ocean but you don’t feel like you’re drowning because you can’t feel anything.


It’s sad.


We arrived to Australia in 2017. I was 18 years old and I thought to myself ‘this is the end to my depression. I’ll be happy again’


But little did I know, it would only get worse and depression invited its other friend – anxiety — into my head.


From being the passionate girl whose heart is on fire, to a damaged, hopeless girl. From being the girl who’s always in the middle of the circle, to the girl who stood in the corner of the room. From being the girl who wants to change the world and save people, wants to be saved herself.


I am an imperfect, weak human and so are you. We can’t always be strong. But there is Someone I know who is perfect and all powerful . . . who loves and cares for you . . . who is always waiting at the door for you . . . This Someone healed me. This Someone changed me. This Someone drew me out of the deep waters. This Someone filled my empty cup. This Someone is deeply in love with me. This Someone never left me alone.


God’s love and grace healed me. And when I was healed, I changed. It was quite a journey. I didn’t understand why I had to go through the things I had to go through then, but looking back now I realize it only made me grow stronger emotionally and spiritually and grow more confident in myself and in Him. Most importantly, I experienced God’s goodness and kindness in ways I never thought I would. Every time I think I have experienced God enough, He takes me on another level because that’s just how awesome He is.


Now when people meet me they often go like, ‘ wow you are really strong’ or ‘ that’s very brave of you’ or ‘ I love how confident you are’ and so on. That’s because I chose not to be a victim of my past but victorious in who God says I am.


Now I am 19 years old, living in Melbourne, Australia, studying what I'm most passionate about - writing and Journalism, not married yet but definitely not American guy (LOL). I have achieved few of my goals (for example, this blog site), met amazing people who have become huge blessing in my life, and I can genuinely say – I am happy.


However, that does not mean life is perfect or will be perfect at some point in life. It will never be. Problems won’t just suddenly disappear. There will always be pain, hardships, trials, challenges and the list goes on. Your dreams won’t magically come true overnight (the irony). You’ve got to put effort, and you’ve got to learn to work past your failures and I know it’s not an easy thing to do. But the choice is always yours. Do you want to be a victim or be victorious? You choose.


Long story short, I was convinced that happiness was found in a certain place, but after going through what I went through, I realized that a place means nothing if you are not content deep inside your heart & soul. The biggest lie you will hear is 'you will find happiness there'. Sorry to break it to you but no, you won't. Yes maybe temporarily but that is it. We like to live in denial sometimes from things we refuse to change or are afraid to change because we get to be out of our comfort zone and nobody enjoys that. It's not about getting out of your comfort zone, most of the time, it's staying out there. 

I personally refuse to become a victim knowing Who holds my life.



Photo credit: Yener Ozturk on Unsplash

 My dark side


I was doing just fine. I was happy and enjoying my life. Until this one time . . . I was home, at peace, then suddenly I heard a sound . . . it was the sound of someone breaking into my home . . . it was a thief. He shamelessly broke in and began destroying everything his eyes could see . . . But he wasn’t there to just break things, he was there to steal – steal not just anything – but the most precious things, such as: joy, peace, love, dreams, hope, and purpose. He stole them like a pro and I felt helpless . . . every time I tried to fight him and take back what he stole from me, he’d fight back and push me away . . . I fought so hard. I fought with tears and with every scar, but I couldn’t save the precious things . . . I lost and I hated it.


After the war that happened in my home, it felt so empty. The sound of joy disappeared, the light of love was shut down and sense of peace completely disappeared. I was hopeless. My home didn’t feel the same anymore. It was dark, cold and hollow. And the broken things remained . . . there was no light shining to help me see where the broken pieces where. And I had no strength to collect the broken pieces. I stayed on the ground . . . days and nights passed by, slowly, I started getting back up and regaining my strength. I felt fragile, but I chose to not give up because I had been down for so long. I wasn’t getting anywhere, and my home remained the same. But when I stood on my feet, I decided to change the way my home looked and felt . . . I meant now that I was finally up, I could move things and change them.


I began the work in my home, but it wasn’t easy, I had to begin from zero. Days and nights passed by, my home looks and feels better . . . not the same as before but getting there. It was all calm and smooth until . . . until the thief broke into my home again. I fought him hard, but he had more power than I did. Thrown into the ground, my head hits the ground hard, and I went into coma for a few weeks. I was alive but everything else felt numb. I was breathing, my heart was beating, but my senses and feelings died. My eyes fell asleep and my ears shut their door so they couldn’t hear any sound. Life was moving forward, but it wasn’t so for me. For me, time was passing, and the days were flying, but I was partly dead.

Few weeks later, I got my consciousness back. I woke up, I could see, I could feel and I could hear again. I was brought back to life and I felt alive. So, I got back up, though I felt dizzy, but I held on to a broken table that was close to me. I tried not to put pressure because it wasn’t strong enough to hold me completely.


I began fixing my home again but then half way through I was exhausted, I was tired and I had enough.  I was like “screw this, I am not gonna bother myself, the thief is coming back again”. And I was right . . . unfortunately. Few weeks later the thief showed up again, and you know what? This time I wasn’t even surprised. I didn’t fight back. I just sat there watching him break and steal things again. Because what is the point of fighting back when I get defeated every single time? I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was fragile.


This was an ongoing war for months and months. Every time, I got my strength back, filled my home with joy, peace and love, the thief would break in and steal. He knew, these things were the most precious and that is why he stole them.


One day . . . when he came back, mercilessly, I chose to face him. I screamed, I cried and I fought him so hard, he fought back, but I refused to be defeated this time. This time it wasn’t my end, it was his end. It was a tough battle. Though he had more power, but I was stronger than him. Because though I was fragile, I won. I ended him. Though my hands were scarred and bruised, but it was worth it.


He no longer is going to break into my home again. He is gone. Do you want to know his name? you are probably familiar with him . . . he is called depression. This is what depression’s aim is, it is to destroy us. But we are strong because true strength is found within us. You’ve got this.


Author's note: This piece is written metaphorically. The “home” represents my self. The “thief” represents depression.



Photo credit: Sara Eshu

Disclaimer: Neither Demi or I are healthcare professionals, so if you have any concerns please go see a GP. 


Q: Tell us a bit about yourself!


A: I’m Demi Spaccavento, also known as Mrs Spaccavento because I’m a high school teacher. I teach English and Visual Arts, but now I deliver menstrual and reproductive health education seminars in high schools to teach girls about periods.


I am 25 . . . although it feels like I was 19 like last year! My favorite color is white (yes it can be a color). And I never used a tampon until I was 24. I only tried it twice and then stopped. Crazy, I know. But they always scared me. Hehe. I use menstrual cups and pads.


Q: Demi, I think you are doing such amazing work with Bright Girl Health and I have personally learned many things from the posts you share. Can you share how this all started?


A: This is a good story! On my honeymoon in Bali, my husband and I were dreaming about what the next couple of years held for us, and I had been thinking about writing my own health education seminars for high school girls for about 9 months at that point. I decided on that trip, that when I came back home, I would go for it.


Here’s where it gets cool:  In the airport, on our way home I saw a post on Instagram from Nat Kringoudis, a doctor of Chinese medicine and women’s health expert, whose YouTube channel first introduced me to the period health world. Nat’s post was announcing that she was starting a mentorship program for girls who were starting businesses in health and you could apply. Talk about perfect timing! So, I applied. 


Now, this is where it gets really interesting. After submitting my application to Nat’s mentorship (but before hearing back) I was called by a school and offered a permanent full-time position (I was only teaching casually at this point). It was basically a dream job they were offering me. But I was so torn because I knew I couldn’t start a business and give it my 100% effort and make myself proud and also work a full-time teaching job that I’d also want to give my full attention to. So, after lots of crying (lol), prayer and talking to my husband and my mum, my gut (and my loved ones) were telling me that I needed to take the leap of faith and turn down the dream job to pursue what was in my heart to do.


And here’s where it gets really cool  . . . A few days after I turned down the job, Nat contacted me and told me she’d love to mentor me as I start my business – talk about timing! Her help has been the biggest blessing on this journey.


Since then I have been working hard to make Bright Girl Health seminars the best they can be. Going more into depth about the menstrual cycle and even reproductive health conditions and infertility is so needed in schools!


Q: The title of this blog is called let’s talk about periods, so let’s get a bit personal haha! Can you briefly explain the period cycle and tips/ways on dealing with the pain?


A: I love talking about periods! I am always posting interesting “little known facts” (like the fact that there are 3 holes “down there”, or that there are more days in a month where it’s impossible to get pregnant than days where it’s possible) as well as tips for pain and period irregularities on my Instagram account.


It’s interesting the amount of people who comment saying that they never knew some of the information I was sharing. My goal is that no woman feels left in the dark about what’s happening inside her own body when it comes to having a period so that every girl can take her health into her own hands. 


The menstrual cycle is called a cycle for a reason. It’s not just the days you are bleeding! It involves the entire cycle of hormonal changes that cause physical and emotional changes throughout the month. This happens as your body prepares for ovulation (when your ovaries release an egg) by thickening your endometrium, which is the lining of your uterus that has the potential for an ovulated egg to implant in it (which is the start of pregnancy). When your body realises it didn’t get pregnant that month, it realises it doesn’t need the thickened endometrium it worked to build up, so it gets rid of it. And that is your period blood. 


As our hormones rise and fall throughout the month, so does the way we feel physically, and so do our moods! 


However, hormone balance is a delicate thing. Our lifestyle, diet, age, genetics and health conditions can influence our hormones to become unbalanced. This is when we start to see more unwanted period symptoms like period pain, worse PMS symptoms, acne, missing periods, heavy periods, clotting, light periods, breast soreness . . . the list goes on.


The good news is that there is always something we can do to balance our hormones (this is my motto nowadays). This includes dietary changes, getting more/better quality sleep, managing our stress better (this is huge for health hormones) and regular exercise. 

Everybody’s body is different, so what each person needs to balance their hormones and get rid of period pain will vary. 


If I had to give 1 tip for period pain though it would be to ditch inflammatory foods. These include refined sugar, gluten, dairy and unhealthy or saturated fats from junk foods. As well as any food you’re allergic to. A lot of people are allergic to gluten or dairy and even soy, and eating them causes more inflammation. 


Inflammation = pain . . . so these foods will exaggerate your period symptoms. 


Q: As a young/teen girl, did you imagine/dream this is what you’d be doing when you’re older? Has this always been a passion of yours? 


A: No way! I was one of the people who had no idea what they wanted to do after school. I’m sure lots of people can relate to that. Looking back – I totally don’t think you need to know either!


I always had a passion for people and helping people, which made going into high school teaching a good choice for me. But I still didn’t feel like that was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life (who knows where the adventure of life will take me?) After school, I discovered a passion I didn’t have before for health, particularly food. I love learning about health. Which also makes health education a good choice for me.


Then in 2016, when my gorgeous husband proposed to me, I realised that I needed to educate myself about contraception . . . and in that process I discovered a lot about periods, the female reproductive system, pregnancy and hormone health that shocked me. It shocked me because I realised that for the first twenty-something years of my life I was so out of tune with what was happening in my body with my menstrual cycle each month. And then I told my friends what I learned and I realized a lot of them didn’t know it either! Some adults I talked to didn’t even know how many holes they had “down there”.


As a teacher it made sense that I would take this empowering information that I learned and help equip young girls to understand their bodies better, use their period cycle to their advantage and realize:


that your period doesn’t have to be your enemy!

Q: Lastly, if you could encourage someone with one sentence, what would this sentence be?


A: There is always something you can do in every day to improve your period health! (Big or small - like diet and lifestyle changes or even reaching out to a professional). 


If you want to learn more about BGH, visit:

Instagram: @brightgirlhealth

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